Go Home Drama You're Drunk and Other Tales of Going Through Hell to Escape the Evil Monkeys

by A Halo Called Fred

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1.
Stare into our eyes (They’re swirly!) You now are hypnotized (You are, surely!) You want to feel the highest highs (like a mosquito!) And see A Halo Called Fred (They're neato!) The only thing you desire (down and dirty!) Is to hear our heavenly choir (so purty!) And maybe I’m a liar (how jerky!) You won’t know ‘til you see A Halo Called Fred (They’re kinda quirky!) It’s easy peasy lemon squeezy George & Weezy soft & sleazy See us now, you won’t get queasy (You should see us now!) See A Halo Called Fred! (See A Halo Called Fred!)
2.
Zero Fucks 03:11
You wanna tell me how to live Your ears let words through like a sieve But I won’t be combative ‘Cause I got zero fucks to give You want the game played by your rules Treat other people like your tools Your power’s so transformative ‘Cause I got zero fucks to give I don’t take chances, don’t take risks, And I line up my ducks Ya can’t play by the rules, there ain’t no Rules when they’re always in flux Sometimes the wrong thing is the Right thing when the right thing sucks The world’s your oyster when you Don’t give zero fucks You wanna tell me right from wrong You wanna infiltrate this song But may the Lord above forgive ‘Cause I got zero fucks to give ZERO FUCKS! Get the fuck out my way ZERO FUCKS! ‘Cause I’m having a bad day ZERO FUCKS! Who the fuck you think you are? ZERO FUCKS! I don’t care if you’re Jesus Christ motherfuckin’ Superstar You wanna tell me how to live Your ears let words through like a sieve But I won’t be combative ‘Cause I got zero fucks to give Now I’ll take my life and live ‘Cause I got zero fucks to give
3.
If you’re going through hell, keep going If you’re going through hell, keep going If you’re going through hell, keep going ‘til you make it to the other side When I was vanquishing the foes I’m hatin’ I accidentally sold my soul to Satan I said, “You’re joking! You must be mistaken!” It was too late. By then my soul was taken But did I let that get me down? No no! Did I just concede defeat? No No! Did I lay down and let myself burn? No No! Or did I hop back on my feet? If you’re going through hell, keep going If you’re going through hell, keep going If you’re going through hell, keep going ‘til you make it to the other side I learned that playing God pretty foolish Back in the lab when I made something ghoulish If it was evil, then it didn’t show it Until it wiped out all life as we know it. But did I let that make me sad? No no! Did I fill the world with cries? No No! Did I say “That’s the end of that?” No No! Or did I make another nicer guy? If you’re going through hell, keep going If you’re going through hell, keep going If you’re going through hell, keep going ‘til you make it to the other side If you got a hangnail… Keep Going! If you’ve had an epic fail… Keep Going! If a jerk just showed up… Keep Going! If your planet just blew up… Keep Going! If your armpits start to smell… Keep Going! If your world has gone to hell… Keep Going! The big bang theory seemed like an abstraction Until I started up that chain reaction I thought perhaps the theory was outmoded But when I tried, the universe exploded And did I let that make me blue? No no! Did I let that get me off track? No no! Did I cry, “Oh the universe is gone?” No no! Or did I watch the new one grow back? If you’re going through hell, keep going If you’re going through hell, keep going If you’re going through hell, keep going ‘til you make it to the other side
4.
Baboons. Crazy circus freaks. Chicken head biting computer geeks. Check your phones for security leaks. Clear your calendar for weeks. It’s THAT kind of party! Crazy dolls and crazy guys and crazy aliens in disguise. Ask no questions tell no lies, tighten lips and loosen ties. It’s THAT kind of party! What kind of party is it? THAT kind! Wanna stop on in for a visit? I don’t mind! What kind of party is it? THAT kind! Come on in! Ain’t got no prerequisite Whips chains, chilled monkey brains, throbbing music, throbbing veins, treasures, the world’s best pleasures and pains, spilled drinks, and assorted stains. It’s THAT kind of party! People, things, free diamond rings, free cash, free devils with angel wings, free radical revolutionaries toppling kings while Elvis sings. It’s THAT kind of party! What kind of party we throwin’? THAT kind! Mind if we keep it goin’? I don’t mind! What kind of party we throwin’? That kind! So stick around, there ain't no signs of slowin’! People of earth, outer space, and all the realms of reality! We hereby cordially invite you to party like it’s the first party there ever was, the last party there ever will be, and all the parties rolled into one! Party like it’s your life! Your very essence! The life blood of your soul. What kind of party is it? THAT kind! Wanna stop on in for a visit? I don’t mind! What kind of party is it? THAT kind! Come on in! Ain’t got no prerequisite Chicks. Dudes. Hoopy Froods. Vulgar clothes. Tasteful nudes. All the drinks and all the foods and all the attitudes. It’s THAT kind of party! Magic. Fire. A flexible flyer. A guy walking 3 miles up on a wire. People who dance, spin around, and perspire. Going higher and higher and higher. It’s THAT kind of party! That kind.
5.
This song is a time machine This song is a time machine All existence is in peril as we fly between Different times, forever shifting for a change of scene Because this song is a time machine Whoa! Traveling through time now. Kinda freaky Gettin’ all time sick -- events get leaky Changing the future, changing the past Living life twice over, having a blast Makin’ paradoxes happen that could blow a hole In the universe so big we’ll never get control I’m breaking every rule of physics you got in you, I’m Destabilizing the space-time continuum This song is a time machine… Today I went back in time and shot myself as a kid But I didn’t fade away, ‘cause after I did I went back again and shot myself before I did it They’ll never find the crazy time-bubble where I hid it Time won’t catch up. I can cover my tracks Tying knots in that timeball, flyin’ through the cracks In case it does and I still get canned, my life will come back, ‘cause I just fathered my grandma This song is a time machine… “Hey Jude” before the Beatles can make you millions A penny in a bank account, later makes billions Pose with a caveman on my next vacation Try to stop, but somehow cause the JFK assassination Gonna rewrite history, be part of the past I shouldn't have that kind of power? You can kiss my ass You can’t stop me now, you can’t give me the boot, ya Can’t change a damn thing I already did in the future This song is a time machine…
6.
Oooh aaahhh aaaah oooooh. EEE eeee. OOOO. Hi. My name is Transparent Head Monkey. And I can talk like a human when I want to. And now, I really, really want to.
7.
Rubble of a dream, trouble really irks ya YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK The weight’ll crush you down like an egg shell cattle herder YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK But it’s NOT MY CIRCUS, not my monkey It’s not my circus, not my monkey There’s a thousand ways this could be funky But you bit down on it, now it tastes skunky UH! Yabba yabba yabba UH! Yabba yabba yabba The vision was peculiar, the payoff was spectacular YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK Then it bites you on the neck, and it sucks you down like Dracula YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK But it’s NOT MY CIRCUS, not my monkey It’s not my circus, not my monkey I got my own baggage, got my own donkey Got my own thing and yours is kind of clunky BROKE all your dreams from their rainbow glow Cause’ you didn’t know something that you thought I should’ve known And you didn’t get the prize from the great triumphant day Cause the Yabbayabba Yak came and took it all away well... UH! yabbayabbayabba UH! yabbayabbayabba You look all tired, feeling honored YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK Been to Hell and back, now you’re cornered YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK But it’s NOT MY CIRCUS, not my monkey It’s not my circus, not my monkey I got my own baggage, got my own donkey take it back to the store and tell them it’s wonky
8.
You have one new message. Hey guys! It's Szilvia. What if A Halo Called Fred made a tribute song to bronies! How awesome would that be? Yeah! That would be great! Why not? Wait... One question. What's that? What's a brony? Maybe they like to watch My Little Pony Put on fluffy suits with pink tails as they go Or maybe they like to make up new pony stories They might do these things, but I really don’t know So we could all sit around, singin’ ‘bout how they whinny and whine But out of respect for the Bronies, I think I’ll decline Maybe they fly on a sparkly rainbow Or conjure up flowers with a magical spell Or perform mind control with a swirl of their eyeballs They might do these things, but I really can’t tell We could sing of how their powers make the universe the ultimate Nirvana But out of respect for the Bronies, I don’t think I wanna Maybe all bronies make excellent lovers Give you every delight that you’ve ever looked for Maybe they’ll make your toes curl up in pleasure They might do these things, but I’m really not sure So we could sing about orgasmic beams of light that they shoot from their ass But out of respect for the Bronies, I think I’m gonna pass Maybe they’re people with lives and with day jobs Who deal with life’s problems just like me and you Maybe they like to have fun on their downtime I’d sing of these things, if I knew they were true So we could sing about the joys of not taking life so seriously But out of respect for the bronies, I’ll let that one be Or we could all sit around singin’ ‘bout how then whinny and whine But out of respect for the bronies, I think I’ll decline Yes, out of respect for the bronies, I think I’ll decline Yeah! Woo hoo! You're right. Let's not do a song about bronies.
9.
Go Home Drama, You’re Drunk I think I thunk you left me But you didn’t ‘cause you suck But now I don’t give a fuck You got me all in a funk So fuck you Go home Drama, you’re drunk Remember that time I was minding my own business And you came up to me and kicked my ass You ain’t even my drama but now you’re my drama When you get all drunk and shit you don’t let nobody get past ‘Cause you know what? Who the fuck are you to be messin’ with me? I got me some pride and shit, you know I ain’t vague But no matter how far I try to run away from you, You’re always around me like the motherfuckin’ plague Go Home Drama, You’re Drunk I think I thunk you left me But you didn’t ‘cause you suck But now I don’t give a fuck You got me all in a funk So fuck you Go home Drama, you’re drunk It’s not that I don’t like you, drama. I really really like you You’re pretty fuckin’ cool when you ain’t tryin’ to be my boss And when you stay far away, and I can watch you like a train wreck But then you get all in my business when you don’t lay off the sauce So you know what? Get the fuck out my house! Get the fuck out my life Out my ass, get the fuck out my business I don’t need no more nothin’, no drunk dial 3 AM calls No shenanigans. I ain’t got no forgiveness! Go Home Drama, You’re Drunk I think I thunk you left me But you didn’t ‘cause you suck But now I don’t give a fuck You got me all in a funk So fuck you Go home Drama, you’re drunk Go home drama go cry to yo momma you sick ass twisted motherfukin’ piece of shit pain in my motherfuckin’ asshole drunk
10.
The essence of comedy, of fear, of death Of joy, of sadness, of drawing a final breath The breath beyond the final breath, the tears of joy from life regained The future shrieks of laughter when we reminisce about the pain The pain is nice and so am I The one severely hurt could die His hair looks very different today The ladder wasn't twice as tall He broke the bones which broke his fall They put him back together so we'll say.... It could have killed him but it didn't so it's funny The grill was hot and so's your mom Apologizing yet 'cause some enlightened fellow's burning off his face The skateboard wasn't twice as quick The road was just a little slick They said when he'd escaped death's sweet embrace.... It could have killed him but it didn't so it's funny The cold and evil cruelty-soup we suck on to survive We taste unrealized death, and oh, it's funny we're alive! And oh the humanity! Oh the hypocrisy! The trauma! Delightful joys for girls and boys surviving the essence of comedy The gun was loud and also hurt My feelings 'cause I'm not alert Enough to warn the people in the way The bullet nearly missed his head It didn't make him twice as dead And if he ever speaks again he'll say... It could have killed him but it didn't so it's funny
11.
12.
Well... Fuck my ass with a red hot poker. Our country's being led by a fascist fucking joker So sing it loud and proud, ya gotta croak it from your croaker, 'Cause it means we're still a little bit free Well... We'll sing it all again in case somebody forgot. See, Donald J Trump is a motherfucking Nazi But while we can sing and give it everything we got, See it means we're still a little bit free They'll try to shut us up, and tell us we're unpatriotic. They'll tear apart our country, try to turn us idiotic As long as we can say it, sing the words the world can witness best. They can't shut us up and pass the Fascism litmus test Because if freedom of artistic expression means anything, it means freedom of the artist to express his or her feelings as graphically as possible. It is not enough to say that Trump is an asshole. Or a dick. ‎It is not enough to say he is a cocksucker. in fact, to call Trump a cocksucker is an insult to the millions of people who happily suck cocks everyday. There is nothing wrong with them, and there is everything wrong with Trump. Analogously, to say that Trump licks the shit out of Putin's asshole, for example, is insulting to people who are into shit eating and analingus. The point is not to insult people whose sexual predilections may be different from our own, the point is to insult trump. So we must continue to search for meaningful, disgusting epithets that truly hit the mark. Trump is his own shit, really. Whenever Trump takes a shit, he is creating himself, in his own likeness, like a god. Trump is his own shit. And Trump's shit is Trump. It is an eternal cycle, the myth of the eternal return, the ouroboros, the infinite regress, the discursive algorithm of diarrhea puke shit. That is what Trump is. But he is more and worse than that. In order to explore this topic more thoroughly and accurately, we must have artistic freedom. Well... Fuck his royal highness in his crumbling fake castle Fuck Donald Trump in his smelly little asshole As long as we can sing it then it's all well worth the hassle 'Cause it's means we're still a little bit free As long as we can say Fuck Donald Trump (fuck Donald Trump) (x3) Then it means we're still a little bit free
13.
Utz Utz Utz 02:20

about

We are all free.

Free to do as we please and live with the consequences. But do we dare? Do we dare to open our minds and our hearts and our ears to the mind-alerting, soul-enhancing, world-changing sounds of that which is beyond description, beyond naming, beyond comprehension? That which can only be metaphorically represented by all the many tales and great adventures that await within?

Yes. We dare. We Must. We must surrender to that freedom.

If we do not, the monkeys will kill us in hell.

Melvin Toast, January 2020

credits

released January 15, 2020

Mostly* written and performed by:
GEVEREND with his guitars Strum-Strum, Woody, and Swirly, and some computer noises
BRUSHWOOD with his Bang-O-Tron full of Tupperware, cookie tins, plus some “real” percussion thrown in
QUEENIE with her violins Betty White and Baby Vee, her ukulele Uko Ono, some congas, and a badass red bass that was signed by dUg
TINY and his basses The Shark and Uprighty, his mandolin Magdalena, his other mandolin Magdalena, and a djembe
Our INVISIBLE FRIEND CHESTER with his unhearable but always felt cosmic vibes

Recorded, Mixed, and mastered between the years of 2016 and 2019 by:
Anthony Kroposky, Adam Dickinson, Carmen Verderosa, Bruce Meyers, Elizabeth Gonzalez, Frank Bridges, Max Cicchino, John S. Hall, and probably some other people at Woodrock Studios, Fish on Fire Studios, Fneeebort Studios, Ludicrous Studios, WRSU Studio, and probably some other places. It’s complicated.

Various songs feature the guest vocals of: Szilvia Lyew, Carmen Verderosa, John S. Hall, Frank Bridges, and a computer generated voice we found online somewhere

These organizations helped bring us to this place: The Roguish Rabbit, The NJ Steampunk Society, Mythmusica, Lump 'n' Loaf Records, Idea Machine Films, The Freaky Mutant Weirdo Variety Show, The Eternal Frontier, COGS Expo, Blow-Up Radio, The Adventures of Sage & Savant (That list was in reverse alphabetical order, out or respect for the forgotten letters.)

*“A Little Bit Free: A Fascism Litmus Test” appears courtesy of Fred Missile, a collaboration between A Halo Called Fred and John S. Hall of King Missile, and is released under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0

And most importantly, we'd like to thank the people of Earth, outer space and all the realms of reality, those we've punched, those we've kissed, and those we've left off of our list. And everyone else. Especially you.

No anthropomorphic mooses or squirrels were harmed in the recording of this album.

We Love You All!

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A Halo Called Fred New Brunswick, New Jersey

The finest guitar, bass, violin, and Tupperware band in all of time and space, geek-rock legends for over 25 years.

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