1. |
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Stare into our eyes (They’re swirly!)
You now are hypnotized (You are, surely!)
You want to feel the highest highs (like a mosquito!)
And see A Halo Called Fred (They're neato!)
The only thing you desire (down and dirty!)
Is to hear our heavenly choir (so purty!)
And maybe I’m a liar (how jerky!)
You won’t know ‘til you see A Halo Called Fred (They’re kinda quirky!)
It’s easy peasy lemon squeezy George & Weezy soft & sleazy
See us now, you won’t get queasy
(You should see us now!)
See A Halo Called Fred!
(See A Halo Called Fred!)
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2. |
Zero Fucks
03:11
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You wanna tell me how to live
Your ears let words through like a sieve
But I won’t be combative
‘Cause I got zero fucks to give
You want the game played by your rules
Treat other people like your tools
Your power’s so transformative
‘Cause I got zero fucks to give
I don’t take chances, don’t take risks,
And I line up my ducks
Ya can’t play by the rules, there ain’t no
Rules when they’re always in flux
Sometimes the wrong thing is the
Right thing when the right thing sucks
The world’s your oyster when you
Don’t give zero fucks
You wanna tell me right from wrong
You wanna infiltrate this song
But may the Lord above forgive
‘Cause I got zero fucks to give
ZERO FUCKS! Get the fuck out my way
ZERO FUCKS! ‘Cause I’m having a bad day
ZERO FUCKS! Who the fuck you think you are?
ZERO FUCKS! I don’t care if you’re
Jesus Christ motherfuckin’ Superstar
You wanna tell me how to live
Your ears let words through like a sieve
But I won’t be combative
‘Cause I got zero fucks to give
Now I’ll take my life and live
‘Cause I got zero fucks to give
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3. |
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If you’re going through hell, keep going
If you’re going through hell, keep going
If you’re going through hell, keep going
‘til you make it to the other side
When I was vanquishing the foes I’m hatin’
I accidentally sold my soul to Satan
I said, “You’re joking! You must be mistaken!”
It was too late. By then my soul was taken
But did I let that get me down? No no!
Did I just concede defeat? No No!
Did I lay down and let myself burn? No No!
Or did I hop back on my feet?
If you’re going through hell, keep going
If you’re going through hell, keep going
If you’re going through hell, keep going
‘til you make it to the other side
I learned that playing God pretty foolish
Back in the lab when I made something ghoulish
If it was evil, then it didn’t show it
Until it wiped out all life as we know it.
But did I let that make me sad? No no!
Did I fill the world with cries? No way!
Did I say “That’s the end of that?” No how!
Or did I make another nicer guy?
If you’re going through hell, keep going
If you’re going through hell, keep going
If you’re going through hell, keep going
‘til you make it to the other side
If you got a hangnail… Keep Going!
If you’ve had an epic fail… Keep Going!
If a jerk just showed up… Keep Going!
If your planet just blew up… Keep Going!
If your armpits start to smell… Keep Going!
If your world has gone to hell… Keep Going!
The big bang theory seemed like an abstraction
Until I started up that chain reaction
I thought perhaps the theory was outmoded
But when I tried, the universe exploded
And did I let that make me blue? No no!
Did I let that get me off track? No way!
Did I cry, “Oh the universe is gone?” No how!
Or did I watch the new one grow back?
If you’re going through hell, keep going
If you’re going through hell, keep going
If you’re going through hell, keep going
‘til you make it to the other side
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4. |
It's That Kind of Party
02:41
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Baboons. Crazy circus freaks. Chicken head biting computer geeks.
Check your phones for security leaks. Clear your calendar for weeks.
It’s THAT kind of party!
Crazy dolls and crazy guys and crazy aliens in disguise. Ask no questions tell no lies, tighten lips and loosen ties.
It’s THAT kind of party!
What kind of party is it? THAT kind!
Wanna stop on in for a visit? I don’t mind!
What kind of party is it? THAT kind!
Come on in! Ain’t got no prerequisite
Whips chains, chilled monkey brains, throbbing music, throbbing veins,
treasures, the world’s best pleasures and pains, spilled drinks, and assorted stains.
It’s THAT kind of party!
People, things, free diamond rings, free cash, free devils with angel wings, free radical revolutionaries toppling kings while Elvis sings.
It’s THAT kind of party!
What kind of party we throwin’? THAT kind!
Mind if we keep it goin’? I don’t mind!
What kind of party we throwin’? That kind!
So stick around, there ain't no signs of slowin’!
People of earth, outer space, and all the realms of reality!
We hereby cordially invite you to party like it’s the first party there ever was, the last party there ever will be, and all the parties rolled into one! Party like it’s your life! Your very essence! The life blood of your soul.
What kind of party is it? THAT kind!
Wanna stop on in for a visit? I don’t mind!
What kind of party is it? THAT kind!
Come on in! Ain’t got no prerequisite
Chicks. Dudes. Hoopy Froods. Vulgar clothes. Tasteful nudes. All the drinks and all the foods and all the attitudes.
It’s THAT kind of party!
Magic. Fire. A flexible flyer. A guy walking 3 miles up on a wire. People who dance, spin around, and perspire. Going higher and higher and higher.
It’s THAT kind of party!
That kind.
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5. |
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This song is a time machine
This song is a time machine
All existence is in peril as we fly between
Different times, forever shifting for a change of scene
Because this song is a time machine
Whoa! Traveling through time now. Kinda freaky
Gettin’ all time sick -- events get leaky
Changing the future, changing the past
Living life twice over, having a blast
Makin’ paradoxes happen that could blow a hole
In the universe so big we’ll never get control
I’m breaking every rule of physics you got in you, I’m
Destabilizing the space-time continuum
This song is a time machine…
Today I went back in time and shot myself as a kid
But I didn’t fade away, ‘cause after I did
I went back again and shot myself before I did it
They’ll never find the crazy time-bubble where I hid it
Time won’t catch up. I can cover my tracks
Tying knots in that timeball, flyin’ through the cracks
In case it does and I still get canned, my
life will come back, ‘cause I just fathered my grandma
This song is a time machine…
“Hey Jude” before the Beatles can make you millions
A penny in a bank account, later makes billions
Pose with a caveman on my next vacation
Try to stop, but somehow cause the JFK assassination
Gonna rewrite history, be part of the past
I shouldn't have that kind of power? You can kiss my ass
You can’t stop me now, you can’t give me the boot, ya
Can’t change a damn thing I already did in the future
This song is a time machine…
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6. |
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Oooh aaahhh aaaah oooooh. EEE eeee. OOOO.
Hi. My name is Transparent Head Monkey. And I can talk like a human when I want to. And now, I really, really want to.
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7. |
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Rubble of a dream, trouble really irks ya
YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK
The weight’ll crush you down like an egg shell cattle herder
YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK
But it’s NOT MY CIRCUS, not my monkey
It’s not my circus, not my monkey
There’s a thousand ways this could be funky
But you bit down on it, now it tastes skunky
UH! Yabba yabba yabba
UH! Yabba yabba yabba
The vision was peculiar, the payoff was spectacular
YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK
Then it bites you on the neck, and it sucks you down like Dracula
YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK
But it’s NOT MY CIRCUS, not my monkey
It’s not my circus, not my monkey
I got my own baggage, got my own donkey
Got my own thing and yours is kind of clunky
BROKE all your dreams from their rainbow glow
Cause’ you didn’t know something that you thought I should’ve known
And you didn’t get the prize from the great triumphant day
Cause the Yabbayabba Yak came and took it all away
well...
UH! yabbayabbayabba
UH! yabbayabbayabba
You look all tired, feeling honored
YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK
Been to Hell and back, now you’re cornered
YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK yabba YAK
But it’s NOT MY CIRCUS, not my monkey
It’s not my circus, not my monkey
I got my own baggage, got my own donkey
take it back to the store and tell them it’s wonky
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8. |
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You have one new message.
Hey guys! It's Szilvia. What if A Halo Called Fred made a tribute song to bronies! How awesome would that be?
Yeah! That would be great! Why not?
Wait... One question.
What's that?
What's a brony?
Maybe they like to watch My Little Pony
Put on fluffy suits with pink tails as they go
Or maybe they like to make up new pony stories
They might do these things, but I really don’t know
So we could all sit around, singin’ ‘bout how they whinny and whine
But out of respect for the Bronies, I think I’ll decline
Maybe they fly on a sparkly rainbow
Or conjure up flowers with a magical spell
Or perform mind control with a swirl of their eyeballs
They might do these things, but I really can’t tell
We could sing of how their powers make the universe the ultimate Nirvana
But out of respect for the Bronies, I don’t think I wanna
Maybe all bronies make excellent lovers
Give you every delight that you’ve ever looked for
Maybe they’ll make your toes curl up in pleasure
They might do these things, but I’m really not sure
So we could sing about orgasmic beams of light that they shoot from their ass
But out of respect for the Bronies, I think I’m gonna pass
Maybe they’re people with lives and with day jobs
Who deal with life’s problems just like me and you
Maybe they like to have fun on their downtime
I’d sing of these things, if I knew they were true
So we could sing about the joys of not taking life so seriously
But out of respect for the bronies, I’ll let that one be
Or we could all sit around singin’ ‘bout how then whinny and whine
But out of respect for the bronies, I think I’ll decline
Yes, out of respect for the bronies, I think I’ll decline
Yeah! Woo hoo!
You're right. Let's not do a song about bronies.
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9. |
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Go Home Drama, You’re Drunk
I think I thunk you left me
But you didn’t ‘cause you suck
But now I don’t give a fuck
You got me all in a funk
So fuck you
Go home Drama, you’re drunk
Remember that time I was minding my own business
And you came up to me and kicked my ass
You ain’t even my drama but now you’re my drama
When you get all drunk and shit you don’t let nobody get past
‘Cause you know what? Who the fuck are you to be messin’ with me?
I got me some pride and shit, you know I ain’t vague
But no matter how far I try to run away from you,
You’re always around me like the motherfuckin’ plague
Go Home Drama, You’re Drunk
I think I thunk you left me
But you didn’t ‘cause you suck
But now I don’t give a fuck
You got me all in a funk
So fuck you
Go home Drama, you’re drunk
It’s not that I don’t like you, drama. I really really like you
You’re pretty fuckin’ cool when you ain’t tryin’ to be my boss
And when you stay far away, and I can watch you like a train wreck
But then you get all in my business when you don’t lay off the sauce
So you know what? Get the fuck out my house! Get the fuck out my life
Out my ass, get the fuck out my business
I don’t need no more nothin’, no drunk dial 3 AM calls
No shenanigans. I ain’t got no forgiveness!
Go Home Drama, You’re Drunk
I think I thunk you left me
But you didn’t ‘cause you suck
But now I don’t give a fuck
You got me all in a funk
So fuck you
Go home Drama, you’re drunk
Go home drama
go cry to yo momma
you sick ass twisted motherfukin’ piece of shit pain in my motherfuckin’ asshole drunk
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10. |
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The essence of comedy, of fear, of death
Of joy, of sadness, of drawing a final breath
The breath beyond the final breath, the tears of joy from life regained
The future shrieks of laughter when we reminisce about the pain
The pain is nice and so am I
The one severely hurt could die
His hair looks very different today
The ladder wasn't twice as tall
He broke the bones which broke his fall
They put him back together so we'll say....
It could have killed him but it didn't so it's funny
The grill was hot and so's your mom
Apologizing yet 'cause some
enlightened fellow's burning off his face
The skateboard wasn't twice as quick
The road was just a little slick
They said when he'd escaped death's sweet embrace....
It could have killed him but it didn't so it's funny
The cold and evil cruelty-soup we suck on to survive
We taste unrealized death, and oh, it's funny we're alive!
And oh the humanity! Oh the hypocrisy! The trauma!
Delightful joys for girls and boys surviving the essence of comedy
The gun was loud and also hurt
My feelings 'cause I'm not alert
Enough to warn the people in the way
The bullet nearly missed his head
It didn't make him twice as dead
And if he ever speaks again he'll say...
It could have killed him but it didn't so it's funny
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11. |
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12. |
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Well...
Fuck my ass with a red hot poker. Our country's being led by a fascist fucking joker
So sing it loud and proud, ya gotta croak it from your croaker, 'Cause it means we're still a little bit free
Well...
We'll sing it all again in case somebody forgot. See, Donald J Trump is a motherfucking Nazi
But while we can sing and give it everything we got, See it means we're still a little bit free
They'll try to shut us up, and tell us we're unpatriotic. They'll tear apart our country, try to turn us idiotic
As long as we can say it, sing the words the world can witness best.
They can't shut us up and pass the Fascism litmus test
Because if freedom of artistic expression means anything, it means freedom of the artist to express his or her feelings as graphically as possible.
It is not enough to say that Trump is an asshole. Or a dick. It is not enough to say he is a cocksucker. in fact, to call Trump a cocksucker is an insult to the millions of people who happily suck cocks everyday. There is nothing wrong with them, and there is everything wrong with Trump. Analogously, to say that Trump licks the shit out of Putin's asshole, for example, is insulting to people who are into shit eating and analingus. The point is not to insult people whose sexual predilections may be different from our own, the point is to insult trump.
So we must continue to search for meaningful, disgusting epithets that truly hit the mark. Trump is his own shit, really. Whenever Trump takes a shit, he is creating himself, in his own likeness, like a god. Trump is his own shit. And Trump's shit is Trump. It is an eternal cycle, the myth of the eternal return, the ouroboros, the infinite regress, the discursive algorithm of diarrhea puke shit. That is what Trump is.
But he is more and worse than that. In order to explore this topic more thoroughly and accurately, we must have artistic freedom.
Well...
Fuck his royal highness in his crumbling fake castle
Fuck Donald Trump in his smelly little asshole
As long as we can sing it then it's all well worth the hassle
'Cause it's means we're still a little bit free
As long as we can say Fuck Donald Trump (fuck Donald Trump) (x3)
Then it means we're still a little bit free
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13. |
Utz Utz Utz
02:20
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A Halo Called Fred New Brunswick, New Jersey
The finest guitar, bass, violin, and Tupperware band in all of time and space, geek-rock legends for over 25 years.
A Halo Called Fred recommends:
(hippies, punks and rubber men) {1987}
by the wooden soldiers
Clever, catchy alt-pop.
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