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We Love You All

by A Halo Called Fred

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1.
Who’s gonna rule my life? TRANSPARENT HEAD MONKEY! Who’s gonna rule my life? TRANSPARENT HEAD MONKEY! He’s so smart that his brains with their pulsating veins Will end all fear and strife! THAT DUDE IS FUNKY! You are my inspiration With your graceful moves and brains so pretty I can watch all day as you swing from the trees And shoot out ideas so perfect and lofty and witty! Who’s gonna rule my life? TRANSPARENT HEAD MONKEY! Who’s gonna rule my life? TRANSPARENT HEAD MONKEY! His brainwaves will shower omnipotent power to make loving kindness grow rife! THAT DUDE IS FUNKY! I wish I was a ray of light Only they can flow through your clear thick skull And feel your brain’s perfect curves That cure ills, make beauty, crave bananas, and help all! Swing, transparent head monkey! Flex that brain, you monkey! And beam out all that funky power! Who’s gonna rule my life? TRANSPARENT HEAD MONKEY! Who’s gonna rule my life? TRANSPARENT HEAD MONKEY! Please will you rule my life? TRANSPARENT HEAD MONKEY! Thank you for ruling my life! TRANSPARENT HEAD MONKEY!
2.
The world is on a turtle which is on a turtle, which is on a turtle which is on a turtle, which is on a turtle which is on a turtle, and it’s turtles all the way down The Earth spins round the sun Spinning round the galaxy, Round the universe Round the nucleus of the atom in a massive giant’s thumb Why a thumb? Why is it always a thumb? Of all the parts of a giant’s body Why does the thumb always have a universe on it? And what is he standing on? He’s on a turtle On a turtle on a turtle on a turtle On a turtle on a turtle And it’s turtles all the way down. The Big bang began creation All of time’s contained inside it There is no before before that ‘cause it’s turtles all the way down In the beginning God created heaven and earth before that he was bored and he put his turtle on a turtle and it’s turtles all the way down If you film all of creation cut out the frames paste them together cut them sideways lay them out and watch the movie it creates You’ll see a turtle on a turtle on a turtle on a turtle on a turtle on a turtle on a turtle on a turtle And it’s turtles all the way down.
3.
My outlook's dark it's all the same In the shadows I sit it's you I blame undead unalive unfun funfame Just make this world unlame Bite! Bite! Bite em in the neck Gonna send, send, send em all to heck Gonna bite! Bite! Bite em in the neck And we'll all be happy All be happy flowers I live this life I dress in black If my steak is burnt I'll send it back cause my passion runs red with the life I lack to make the world my snack 15 billion years of cosmic evolution creates the stars and all that grew spiders, bombs, and bats and the flu TV, songs, iphones and glue Gilligan! Baywatch! Honey Boo-Boo! the highest matter grows into the disappointing mass that's YOU it’s black, black the absence of color some say it's nothing but I know it's rather the reflection of the hole that’s in my soul I’ll make them feel the same
4.
Jesus Christ, I fucked up. My fellow scientists agree I should never have poured test tube A into B ‘Cause it chased deadly fish creatures out of the sea Since we’ll soon all be dead, won’t you get sloshed with me? I’ve just doomed the world, So let’s drink ‘til we hurl! We’ll be drinking for Science tonight! Well it’s whiskey today ‘til the monsters burst in And it’s whiskey to drown away all of our sins Whiskey numbing the pain as they chew through our skin ‘Cause we’re drinking for science tonight! The plan was to force the world’s minds to evolve One small whiff of my gas, all your problems are solved! I’d spread joy, all my dubious methods absolved! But because that went wrong, now our flesh gets dissolved By the hideous beasts who will make us their feast So we’re drinking for science tonight! Raise your glass to the geeks, the steampunks and freaks They’ve inspired my crazy mad scientist streaks And because of all that, they’ll be dead within weeks So lets drink to drown out all the pain and the shrieks They can’t get us first if our livers all burst So we’re drinking for science tonight!
5.
In an alternate reality black is white In an alternate reality day is night In an alternate reality false is true But in every reality, I love you One day I traveled back in time Cured the plague, stepped on a Butterfly Rewrote the Gettysburg address Broke Gutenberg’s first printing press When I got back the world was strange The Dalai Lama was deranged Bicycles were dirty, cars were clean Goats were replaced by a machine I thought “Oh man, that’s really weird Has this gone worse that I have feared? Have I done good? Have I done harm?” But then you threw yourself in my arms! In an alternate reality black is white In an alternate reality day is night In an alternate reality false is true But in every reality, I love you Next time I went back to the past I cancelled Steve Jobs’ calligraphy class Burned Newton’s apple tree to the ground Saved the dinosaurs, let Hitler drown When I got back to my own time Somehow the words orange and banana rhymed Fred Phelps and Lady GaGa were in love The world was ruled by an evil glove I thought, “My God What Have I done? How did the world turn out so wrong? How can I get it back on track?” But then I kissed you and you kissed me back! In an alternate reality black is white In an alternate reality day is night In an alternate reality false is true But in every reality, I love you The world is like a house of cards Just pull one down it falls apart But then when everything gets strange It’s good to know that one thing can’t change In an alternate reality black is white In an alternate reality day is night In an alternate reality false is true But in every reality, I love you
6.
I took a good shit today And it’s gonna be a good day I took a good shit today And it’s gonna be a good day I lost my shirt my money I lost the keys To my car my house my job I sneezed A lot my health is shot my insides rot I feel diseased At least I’ve got my dignity Or maybe not But that’s okay ‘Cause I took a good shit today And it’s gonna be a good day I took a good shit today And it’s gonna be a good day I took a good shit today And it’s gonna be a good day I got beat up kicked stabbed run over and punched In the face got maced and lost my lunch Got maimed burst into flame ain’t that a shame it hurt a bunch At least things started picking up ‘Til the zombies came But that’s okay ‘Cause I took a good shit today And it’s gonna be a good day I took a good shit today And it’s gonna be a good day I took a good shit today And it’s gonna be a good day I have a bad cough But I took a good shit My balls fell off But I took a good shit I hurt my spleen But I took a good shit I’m pissing green But I took a good shit Life’s in a pit It just won’t quit I won’t throw a fit It won’t help a bit I just need to sit And reflect on it And take a really, really, really, really, really good shit. And it’s gonna be a good, good, good, good day.
7.
Throw your hands in the air Stomp around like you don't care Sing your chant of hunt and war Stomp around and yell some more You go UNGABUNGABUNGA BUNGABUNGABUNGABUNGA You're a caveman Stomp around, paint on cave wall Thank your food, the good of all If we are rude, the sky will fall Stomp around, and make your call And go UNGABUNGABUNGA BUNGABUNGABUNGABUNGA You're a caveman We walk in the hills, we swim in the sea We pray to the gods: "stop picking on me" We wear our skins and we always agree: The stories to tell by the fire We're free! UNGABUNGABUNGA BUNGABUNGABUNGABUNGA Hunt gazelle, hunt the cow When we win, the gods say "wow" Throw your mate into the ground You procreate and make this sound You go ungabungabunga bungabungabungabunga You're a caveman
8.
I’m gonna put the toothpaste back in the tube, I’ve got a plan I’ve got a funnel and a pump and a hose and two strong hands Don’t wanna unbrush my teeth ‘cause I like ‘em clean Don’t wanna unmess the sink, I like those streaks of green I can’t rebuild that bridge I just burned down Unpunch the face I broke, unmeet that evil clown I can’t undo my sins, each time I’ve let you down I won’t change the life I’ve seen I know what’s done is done -- I think you know that too I just really wanna put that toothpaste back in the tube I’m gonna put the toothpaste back in the tube, but I don’t wanna Change a thing, just gonna wear it like a badge of honor won't unbreak my leg, I won’t uncrash my car I’ll live the rest of my life from where I’ve lived so far If I could go back and do it all one more time I’d still break your heart, I hope you’d still break mine Don’t even think we can know if it all works out fine It’s what makes us who we are I know what’s done is done -- I hope you know that too I just really wanna put that toothpaste back in the tube If I could go back and do it all one more time I’d still break your heart, promise you’d still break mine I won’t even wanna know if it all worked out fine It’s what made us who we are I know what’s done is done -- I know you know that too I just really wanna put that toothpaste back in the tube
9.
You’d better scurry flee and hide From anachronistic homicide He'll melt that smile into a frown When the steampunk monster comes to town He'll swoop down in his time machine And zap you into smithereens You better run -- nobody sits 'Til Barry the Steampunk Monster quits He's built himself from weapons Pulled from all time and space Specifically selected to Annihilate the human race He’s got laser eyes, a crossbow arm Breathes poison gas, spits cluster bombs His gears for ears spill acid vats From the steampunk monster’s velvet hat So keep an eye behind your back You can’t guess when he’ll next attack When your neck tingles quake with fear That means the steampunk monster’s near He's got impeccable fashion sense That never dings and never dents While crushing all that’s in the path Of Barry the Steampunk Monster's wrath He lives to kill you just for fun But don’t think that’s the end He’ll rewrite history then he’ll kill you Again again and again and again Bust out the guns, bats, bombs, and knives So starts the battle of our lives No one will ever rest their head 'Til Barry the Steampunk Monster's dead
10.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! The geek-on-geek violence stops now! Sing along with our anthem to geek unity! Gt doesn’t matter if you think Edward Cullen beats Gandalf in a fight It doesn’t matter if the gears on your goggles rotate left or right Doesn’t matter if you dress like a zombie with the blood, and the guts, and the grunts Or you just wear Plastic Halloween costume with Aquaman’s picture on the front Because I envision a world Where the gamer and the fanboy can stroll in the sand And I envision a world Where the Rennie pets the furry with her silken gloved hand So all you Mudbloods that we’ve feared All you mustachios and beardos All you freaky mutant weirdos, heed our call We love you all We love you all We love you all (we love you all, We love you all, We love you all) We love you all All those ears torn off in the in the trekkie vs trekker wars - Both sides were the losers Don’t forget those poor elf clerics forced to be fighter-magic users Someone says seeing Greedo shoot first gives them goose-bumps? Loves those pretty colored Daleks with the big humps? Don’t be a jerk, don’t take their geek card Love and embrace them. It isn’t that hard I envision a world where the fairy and the superhero skip through the skies and I envision a world where the pirate and the supervillain patch each others eyes So all you crazy nerd correctors Coders, scripters, evil spectres Creepy folks and and earth’s protectors, sound the call We love you all (x7) All those we’ve punched or those we’ve kissed, Or those we’ve left off of our list If you’re plain or fancy, gay or straight, get freaky or can’t get a date Every color, shape and size, opacity, Texture, toughness taste, tenacity, Style substance, sheer audacity, We love that about you. It’s how it has to be The child is father to the man So let's each of us embrace our innermost kid The meek shall inherit the earth But look around -- I think that we did So those we’ve wronged and those we’ve slighted Let’s not be a world divided Sing it loud don’t try to fight it, Stand up tall! We Love You all....
11.
12.

about

Over a decade ago, A HALO CALLED FRED vanished from the earth, leaving a great hole in my heart—an empty GOLDEN CIRCLE. But now... the wounds are healing, and I realize my pain was merely an echo—an echo of the joy that would one day RETURN! Like the great Cthulhu, they have but slept, shaping our dreams, only to awaken now to reclaim their rightful place in the universe and spread their love into our very essence! I hear their music, and cannot comment further, for to truly describe the experience would drive anyone mad. But listen if you dare... and as you tiptoe through the tulip-ridden realms of MADNESS, take heart! When you emerge (scars and all), you will know one UNIVERSAL TRUTH... that you are, all, loved.

—Melvin Toast

credits

released February 3, 2015

GEVEREND plays Strum-Strum (electric guitar), Woody (acoustic guitar), keyboards, most vocals

BRUSHWOOD plays the Bang-o-Tron (kitchenware, cookie tins, random percussion), more vocals

TINY plays uprighty (upright bass), The Shark (electric bass), Geddy (bonus bass), backing vocals

QUEENIE plays Baby Vee (violin), Uko Ono (ukulele), backing vocals

CHESTER plays Cosmic Vibes (invisible)

Recorded at Fish On Fire Recordings, Trenton, North Plainfield, and Raritan, NJ; engineered and produced by Anthony Kroposky; co-engineered and co-produced by Carmen Verderosa; mixed at Woodrock Studios, Raritan NJ, mastered at Azimuth Mastering

Released by Lump'N'Loaf Records

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A Halo Called Fred New Brunswick, New Jersey

The finest guitar, bass, violin, and Tupperware band in all of time and space, geek-rock legends for over 25 years.

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