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How to Get a Million Hits on YouTube

from Giant Robot [EP] by A Halo Called Fred

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lyrics

Here's how to get a million hits on YouTube
A three step guide to make you fly above the common rube
And make your content shine even brighter than a flash cube
It's how to get a million hits on YouTube

STEP 1: Spend a million bucks for corporate backing
STEP 2: Boost your hits with lots of clever Russian hacking
STEP 3: Make it super sexy, keep the horn-dogs whacking
And that's how you get a million hits on YouTube
Wait.. But maybe that won't cut it.
Maybe this is it....

STEP 1: Start a cult of mind control and lots of brainwashing
STEP 2: Pretend only you know the truth that they keep squashing
STEP 3: Post new lies daily just to keep 'em watching
And that's how you get a million hits on YouTube
I think we finally got it..
Let's see if that worked!

How to get a million hits on YouTube
We'll make it really easy just like solving a Rubik's Cube
Or Goldbach's conjecture, or refilling the toothpaste tube
It's how to get a million hits on YouTube

Here we go!

Get those hits up, with a rockin' violin solo Queenie!

Instrumental verse ending in:
Uh oh. Still not quite enough.
Well then here's the real steps.

STEP 1: Be a total dick that so sane mind could ever like
STEP 2: Throw a tantrum. Feign remorse. Apologize forever-like
STEP 3: Take it back. Blame the system. Name it something clever like:
"How to Get a Million Hits on YouTube!"
And then we can finally watch
those hits roll in.
At least 'til we get cancelled

How to get a million hits on YouTube
And generate excitement like a glimpse of side boob
And drop more records than Dre, Snoop, and Ice Cube
It's how to get a million hits on YouTube

WOO HOOO! I think we did it!
Are we famous yet?

credits

from Giant Robot [EP], released September 24, 2021

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A Halo Called Fred New Brunswick, New Jersey

The finest guitar, bass, violin, and Tupperware band in all of time and space, geek-rock legends for over 25 years.

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